Cate Blanchett isn’t bisexual… *weeps*

To be honest, I started writing an article last week about Cate Blanchett. Remember last week? That glorious time when we thought she’d had ladylovers “many times.” Yeah, those were some good times.

I abandoned that article because reason and argument kept giving way to ridiculous lesbian fan fiction. Don’t get me wrong, Andrew Upton is a megababe. I’d just rather picture Our Cate getting jiggy with a female co-star or three.

This week it all came crashing down and lesbians around the world wept in unison. Turns out Cate was misquoted so she went back to being just a regular heterosexual megastar.

But while this is a terrible disappointment, the part about this whole adventure that bothered me the most were the ubiquitous “who cares” brigade. You know the ones? They spend their days commenting on opinion pieces with “who cares?” and “is this news?” (to which I say “you obviously, you clicked on it” and “no, it’s an opinion piece.”)

So, instead of fan fiction pairing up Our Cate with Frances McDormand / Mery Streep / Kerry Washington / Lily Tomlin / Julianna Margulies / Gillian Anderson / Sara Ramirez / Archie Panjabi / Sidse Babett Knudsen, I wrote this article for Daily Life about coming out, lesbian health and needing a hero.