Maeve: Hi, I’m Maeve Marsden and you’re listening to Queerstories. This week Ian Roberts started his career as a professional rugby league player in the mid 1980’s, playing for the South Sydney Rabbitohs, the Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles and the North Queensland Cowboys. He went on to play for NSW in 5 State of Origin series and over a dozen test matches for Australia. In 1994 at the high of his playing career Ian came out publicly and told the world he was a gay man, the first openly gay man in rugby league. Ian retired in 1998 due to injury, then in 2001 he studied at the National Institute of Dramatic Art (NIDA) in Sydney. He has over 40 credited acting roles to his name. He performed this story at Riverside Theatres for Sydney World Pride.
Ian: Hello, hello, hello. That was quite the introduction, so I’m a little bit flattered by that. This isn’t part of the show, but I- the last time I was here was 35, well- about 35 years ago. I’m an electrician by trade and I was actually part of the construction company that built this place. And it’s literally the first time I’ve been back, and we’re in- I know it sounds weird for people- but for me, like we’re in Parramatta. And I’m not saying, hear me out, what I mean by that is, 35 years ago in Parramatta you couldn’t’ve had an event like this. You couldn’t’ve had a gay man standing on stage, in front of a queer audience, telling ‘queer stories’, at a World Pride event, and being celebrated for doing that. You know, we have come such a long way. I mean, we still have an incredible amount like… like, where did 35 years go right? This wasn’t what I was going to speak about, but just walking out here’s… it’s where did 35 years go? It’s like I think, I’m sorry, I feel a bit choked up. 35 years ago, like that would’ve bee 1987 I was playing for Souths and I could not have presented myself here. I could not have walked around Parramatta as an out, gay man. In that 35 years we have lost so many beautiful people; friends, lovers, relatives to aids and HIV. We have lost so many beautiful people; our friends, partners, lovers who have died of suicide. And some of us in the room, and I’m one of them, have actually lost someone I loved, who was killed, who was murdered. They were throwing gay men off cliffs back in 1990. So we have so much work to do, but I am so glad, I’m so grateful to be here. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I do apologise Maeve, I hadn’t expected to say any of that. So I should probably get on with the reason I’m here. Hello! My name is Ian Roberts, my pronouns are he/him. I’d like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land, and pay my respects to elders past and present. This land always was, always will be Aboriginal land. I absolutely, 100% will be voting yes later on, for the referendum to the voice.
So, I’m now going to talk about something that I don’t know if everyone in the room is familiar with, my background around playing rugby league. But, this story is kind of what I call ‘the Elephant in the Room’ story for me. It was really the first time I felt liberated and felt free as a gay man in a rugby league world. I’m going to take you right the way back to 1994, and there’s a few things I’m going to have to explain to you, cos for those people who don’t understand the lingo, it’ll make the story make sense.
So, this is 1994. I was playing for the Manly Warringah Sea Eagles, and I was the form front rower prop and had been for the few years leading up to that year. It was a Kangaroo year, so they picked 26 players who toured Great Britain and France. I made the team, I was the form prop. Bozo, I’m going to call him Bozo, his real name is Bob Fulton. Bob Fulton, was the Australian coach at the time, he was also the Manly coach, the team I played for. And Boz, for those who don’t know- I’m just going to refer to him at Bozo, cos that’s how he comes to mind, so it’s Bobby Fulton I’m referring to- Boz was one of the original immortals, one of the five original rugby league immortals. I don’t know what that means to anyone who’s not sports orientated, but for a rugby league supporter, that is almost like ascending to become a God in the rugby league world. And he was, he was my favourite player growing up as a kid, and I always had a wonderful relationship with Boz. Now Boz is one of those guys who’s old school. I think if you’d asked Boz, he passed away last year unfortunately, but I think if you’d asked Boz up until that point ‘had he ever met a gay man or a queer person?’ He would’ve thought he hadn’t. Now at the time, my partner Shane, and it was the worst kept secret in rugby league that I was gay, cos I was quite ‘out’ on the scene. I was quite open with my sexuality but looking back now I do regret that I… I thought back then- cos I now realise visibility is so important – I thought back then, that I shouldn’t have to come out. I took Shane to all the functions, Shane was my partner. We were together, it was obvious we were together, we would hold hands, everyone knew but it was the elephant in the room.
A lot of the players, and in administration, no one spoke about it. A few players did, I was always ok though, it was always accepted and I was always open about our relationship. But Boz and I had never had that conversation.
So, now we’re on a Kangaroo tour, we play the first test against Great Britain and we’re heavy favourites. We get beaten by predominantly a 12 man team, there’s 13 players in a rugby league team, on the field, for those people who don’t know. So they had a player sent off just after half time, and they beat us. We were playing at Wembley in front of a hundred thousand people, they played out of their skin, they thoroughly deserved the win. But I actually played ok, so I wasn’t in any fear of getting dropped. My lead up to those games I was the form front-rower, there was two weeks between the next test which was in Leeds. And in the lead up to that game, I played, I was man of the match in that game, so I didn’t expect to get dropped.
Anyway, one of the rules on a touring team- this is very important- one of the rules on a touring team is that players wives and girlfriends, aren’t allowed to stay in the room with the players while they’re on tour. Yes, they can come and visit through the day, have lunch, have breakfast whenever the team is not together it is ok. The players partners aren’t allowed to physically stay at the hotel overnight or anything like that. Now Shane my partner at the time, and we’re still best friends now, I love Shane he is part of my family. Shane, as I said was known he was my partner at Manly, Shane was a guy, Shane was the guy, you know the mascot? The guy that runs around with a big beak? And the flappy wings doing cartwheels? That was Shane. Like everyone knew we were together, I love Shane. I love you bud. Anyway, getting back to the story. So, my roommate on this tour was Terry Hill. Terry and I both grew up in the South Sydney area, we both played for Souths before moving to Manly. Terry is probably a generation younger than me, but very good friend. Terry knew I was gay, he was playing at Manly at the time too. Terry never had an issue with me being gay, Terry used to frequently come out with Shane and I, he was totally an ally.
On the Monday, before the Sunday, so I’m nearly a full week just after, we just played the lead up game and I’d had a great game, we get a phone call in the morning. And Terry picks up the phone, one of the old dial phones. Remember those bloody things? Terry picks up the phone, “Hello, I’ll put him on Boz.” Listen, you don’t get a phone call of Boz unless some really serious incident has happened off field, or something’s happened to one of your relations, or you’re getting dropped, right. You never get that phone call of Boz, unless it’s one of those three things. He hands me the phone, “Hey Boz, how you going?” “Robbo, I need to talk to you mate, and it’s not good.” “When?” “Now, mate.” Shit.
So obviously, Boz is staying in the penthouse. I get up the twentieth floor, and I walk to Boz’ room and his door’s ajar. There’s a bit of a gap there. And I’m thinking ‘shit!’ [knocking] “Robbo?” “Hey Boz.” “Sit down mate.” I sat on the end of the bed, off he went again. [starts pacing back and forth] And then he started mumbling to himself “I don’t know what to do here…” And I was getting panicky, like this is now- it felt like an eternity and in the end I said “Boz, stop mate please just tell me what’s happened?” Cos I’m thinking something’s happened at home, someone’s been hurt. And he’s like “Robbo, never had to do this before mate.” “Boz just tell me?” “Mate there’s been some talk, that Shane’s staying with you in the hotel.” I went, “what?” He said, “Mate, there’s been reports Shane’s staying with you at the hotel, you know the rules.” I said, “he’s not mate, he’s staying in a B&B up the road. He’s just popped in every so often to say G’day.” And Boz is like “Oh great! That’s all I needed to hear Robbo! Great mate! Oh! That’s great Robbo! I knew you wouldn’t let the team down mate, I knew you wouldn’t let us down!” And I was like ‘ahh!’ This probably doesn’t sound like anything to anyone in this room, but it was such a moment for me, because that’s what leadership is. It’s about having those awkward moments, those awkward conversations, and going there. He really dealt with that elephant in the room, you know? It was the first time I felt validated as a gay man playing rugby league, it might’n’t seem like anything, but we’re now talking like 30 odd years ago. Like, I’m getting a bit teary but it was like one of those lightbulb moments for me. It was like the greatest moment for me personally. He was sweating beads, and I was sweating beads and it was like… But then as I got up to walk out, as I got to the door, I just stopped, I turned around, I just looked at him. He looked back, and then we kissed- no we didn’t. No, it was just a really nice moment, I just said “Thank you Boz.” And there was so much more in that conversation than what was actually being said, there was so much more going on, it was one of the most empowering moments of my life. And he said to me, he just looked and said, “All good mate, you’re a good man.”
Doesn’t sound like much, but yeah. So yeah, that’s kind of my story, I was so glad I was able to share that. Like these are the moments, I’ve been so fortunate in my life, I’ve been so blessed, I’ve been so look- you know I grew up in a very loving family. But there was a lot of misogyny, racism and homophobia, like there was a lot of talk in my family, but it was a very loving family. So I kind of realise, it’s times like this… being gay is my superpower, no I mean that seriously. I mean, I love being gay! I mean I love being gay! And ideally would love anyone out there to just feel some of that, it really is my superpower. We have so much work to do, and this is why this is so important to me. We’re creating- and this is free publicity- we’re creating a pride museum, but it’s all about education. I really believe our best weapons and our best sword has always been education, education, education. Right from primary school to corporate, we need to keep pushing it, we always need to be the adult in the room. We always need to be able to negotiate, to compromise, to flex, to bend, because we’ve gotta be at the table. You know, this is where we are, this is where we want to be. That’s progress. That’s who we are, we always have to be the ones, we always have to be the adult in the room, or we always have to be empathetic, we always have to understand and accept other people’s ignorances which is fine. Cos we come from a place of love. And I really believe that.
So thank you for putting up with my ridiculous presence, thank you all for coming out today.
Maeve: Thanks for listening. Don’t forget to check out Queerstories on Patreon where you can support the project for as little as $1 per month. Follow Queerstories on Facebook for news and event updates and follow me, Maeve Marsden on Twitter and Instagram.
