A national LGBTQI+ storytelling project curated by Maeve Marsden
featuring a book, event series and an award-winning podcast

A national LGBTQI+ storytelling project curated by Maeve Marsden
featuring a book, event series and award-winning podcast

287 Sophie Wilksch โ€“ Tools

Sophie likes playing with toolsโ€ฆshe finds a beautiful way to share that passion with others.

Sophie Wilksch is the Director of Shedding Community Workshop Inc, a not-for-profit organisation located in Mullumbimby. Sophie has 10 years experience in sustainable architecture, building and carpentry and established the workshop in May 2018. Sophie is trained in non-violent communication and Mental Health First Aid. Shedding Community Workshop offers a safe space and haven, aiming to share life skills with all people: shedding preconceptions, shedding fears, celebrating mistakes and emotions.

Transcript

Maeve: Hi. Iโ€™m Maeve Marsden and youโ€™re listening to โ€˜Queerstoriesโ€™. This week, Sophie Wilksch is the Director of Shedding Community Workshop Inc, a not-for-profit organisation located in Mullumbimby. Sophie has 10 years experience in sustainable architecture, building and carpentry and established the workshop in May 2018. Sophie is trained in non-violent communication and Mental Health First Aid. Shedding Community Workshop offers a safe space and haven, aiming to share life skills with all people: shedding preconceptions, shedding fears, celebrating mistakes and emotions.

Sophie: Tools.

I like playing with tools.

And one of the only things I like much more than playing with tools,

Is watching other people getting off on playing with my tools.

That moment when the fear drops, the power sets in and they say, โ€œI want to do that again.โ€

Recycled timber.

I like touching it.

I like feeling it up and telling this reclaimed piece of trash that it is worthy of something, again.

Making stuff.

I like taking stuff and making stuff and turning it into something functional.

Whether that function is to sit on, to live in, or to make a statement about the uprising

undercurrent of us lessers in society, as we protest against the systems that frame our lives.

Hashtag Woodford Closing Ceremony 2019. Look it up!

So why am I telling you this?

Because I want you to discover this joyful addiction to dreaming and creating, and together we will build an army and cover the planet in sustainable tiny homes and sheds.

Something like that anyway. We are all allowed to dream right?

Shedding.

I love picking out and finding those parts of myself that donโ€™t serve me anymore and then giving

them away. I call it Shedding. I also love doing shed-thingsโ€ฆ Making stuff, creating stuff,

tinkering. I call it Shedding, because itโ€™s often that Iโ€™m doing these shed-like activities but rarely in fact, in a shed-like space.

So in 2018, I decided to create a place for everyone to come and โ€˜shedโ€™ with me. Itโ€™s a

not-for-profit organisation. Itโ€™s called Shedding Community Workshop Inc, and we donโ€™t care who you are or whatโ€™s going on in your life. We just want you to come and play, like we used to when we were kids.

In fact, we do care โ€“ but we donโ€™t let your identity prevent you from joining us.

We have a sayingโ€ฆ As you step into the space, you hang your cloak of life at the entry. You are light, and somehow with that lightness itโ€™s easier to chat about your cloak. Or just play with toolsโ€ฆ Whatever you feel like.

Shedding is not a Menโ€™s Shed. Itโ€™s not a Womenโ€™s Shed. It is a shed for all people.

During my 10 years working on a vast array of building sites, I worked with men. Oh and one woman, she was a sparky โ€“ she did the wiring on a tiny home I was constructing, and then left after 3 hours. The rest were men. At least I assumed she was a woman. She had long hairโ€ฆ She was called Katโ€ฆ She didnโ€™t specify her pronouns. But then neither did I.

I liked being a bloke. I mean I had a vagina, andโ€ฆ. Liked sleeping with menโ€ฆ at that time. But I liked being tough, strong, quick with on-site banter and humour. Drinking beers and talking shit after youโ€™ve just broken your back with a hard days slog. Camaraderie. I like the camaraderie.

I also kinda liked that it was just me and the fellas. But some days I didnโ€™t like that at all.

Itโ€™s tough. Go have a cry. Stop whining. Build a bridge. Have a cup of concrete and toughen up.

Killing me softly, with his song. Oh no wait, thatโ€™s not what the guys would say to me โ€“ thatโ€™s what I said to myself. The guys were actually pretty quick to cut out the banter when I mentioned my period. Wouldnโ€™t want to be a victim of that wrath.

And I thoughtโ€ฆ I donโ€™t wanna hang out with the ladiesโ€ฆ Tight skirts, high heels. Wouldnโ€™t know how to change a tyre.

Identity. Right? Because Iโ€™m the only woman whoโ€™s different. Right? Iโ€™m the only one in trousers and going off to work with the blokes. I am an anomaly.

Fuck off.

So anyway, this was before the times of Shedding. Now all the anomalies come walking through the gate and pull out my tools and play. Coz we all

areโ€ฆ Anomaliesโ€ฆ A fucking sensational vibrating mass of particles that barely even exist in a physical form at all. Some have these parts and some have those parts and some parts can go in other parts, and ooh that feels goodโ€ฆ Is that sanded to 400 grit? Did you use a Japanese saw to make that housing joint? Sexy.

Sensuality. I love being sensual. Softly stroking timber with a finely sharpened sawโ€ฆ The scent of freshly cut camphorโ€ฆ I love the smooth finish of a fine sanding job and massaging the grain with pungent eucalyptus oil and beeswax as it slowly hardens.

For me, carpentry is sexy. I donโ€™t know if I ever feel sexier than when Iโ€™m wearing my toolbelt.

People who know me know that, because I wear it all the time. When I build and create I feel powerful, strong, capable. Not specifically like a man, but not really like a woman eitherโ€ฆ Just like me.

Mistakes. I love making themโ€ฆ Well, not so much making themโ€ฆ But letting go of my need for perfection, which I so intricately learnt working in a joinery workshop in Germany. Terrified by the need for perfection I decided that I wasnโ€™t having a bar of it. Make mistakes, fuck things up.

Admit repeated failure. Laugh, cry, and then discover that your so-called mistake is actually the opening of a new vortex of possibility. A fabulous design detail that you otherwise wouldnโ€™t have discovered.

Intimacy. I love intimacy. It also terrifies me. I remember, the first time a woman came on to me, casually sliding closer on the couchโ€ฆ โ€œOh sorry, do you want more spaceโ€ Iโ€™d say โ€“ edging away. I had to explain that I have a concrete wall that could slowly be broken down, one brick at a time, through endless conversations with painfully high levels of clarity.

For someone who talks about sex so much, youโ€™d wonder how I could possibly be so terrified by it. I guess people are different to pieces of timber. They have emotions. Emotions that can be hard to read, hard to gauge, hard to predict. Donโ€™t get me wrong โ€“ sometimes Iโ€™m surprised by the response of my pieces of timber. But people, people are complex.

If I pull out a bottle of beer, to some it may be a symbol of celebration. If someone got smashed over the head by a bottle of beer as a kid, well to them โ€“ it might signify pain, fear, anger.

So what do I do? My idea is to be so damn blunt and clear about my emotions that people donโ€™t need to wonder what the hell is going on in my head.

And sometimes, sometimes I reckon Iโ€™m doing okayโ€ฆ Sometimes when students tell me their storiesโ€ฆ That theyโ€™re bouncing off the walls because they didnโ€™t have their ADHD medsโ€ฆ That theyโ€™re triggered by my voice because it reminds me of their overbearing mother when they were a childโ€ฆ That they used to be in the army and have been trained against everything that I stand for emotionally so maybe opening up might be a little bit hard for them right nowโ€ฆ That theyโ€™re having an anxiety attack triggered by a door handle from the house where their PTSD originatedโ€ฆ I could go onโ€ฆ All nightโ€ฆ. But sometimes, when I hear their stories I reckon that my emotional bluntness, my brutal

honesty, my drive for vulnerability, compassion, clarity and boundariesโ€ฆ Maybe it does support other people to feel safe to share.

I mean, weโ€™re hanging out and learning tools. Whatโ€™s that got to do with emotions?

But waitโ€ฆ Think about itโ€ฆ When I cut my line wrong โ€“ I fuck up, I have shame. I have frustration. When I break a drill bit โ€“ I fucked up. I have embarrassment. When I flick off the angle grinder coz it feels out of control. I have fear. When I donโ€™t understand something after the third time it has been explained. I have humiliation. So what if we just shift all that? Celebrate mistakes, delight in our disasters, cradle our pain,

nurture our needs. Soften and expand with joy and fluidity. Cut a line wrong. Shout it to the world! I fucked it up. And the crowd goes wild (YAY โ€“ cheering).

Then we remember โ€“ no worries. Grab another timber, have another go.

Break a drill bitโ€ฆ (YAY โ€“ cheering) No worries, grab another one. Letโ€™s play with your technique. You fear a tool. No worries, letโ€™s chat about it. How are you feeling?

The number of times we ask that question โ€“ how are you feelingโ€ฆ Gosh.

Learning tools is the easy part. Itโ€™s the rest thatโ€™s the challenge. Believing that youโ€™re capable.

And believe me, youโ€™ll surprise yourself.

And for me, I think to myselfโ€ฆ Maybe, just maybe people will take that out into the world with them. Then I step out and I realise itโ€™s already there.

Maeve: 

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Credits

Queerstories is produced by Maeve Marsden and recorded by wonderful technicians at events around the country. Editors and support crew have included Beth McMullen, Bryce Halliday, Ali Graham and Nikki Stevens.